September 18, 2007
Time To Finish Those
’07 Goals
It's hard
to believe, but the final quarter of 2007 is just around the corner. If you're
like me, you probably have a few things to achieve before the New Year rings in.
If so, you might whittle your remaining goals down to your top three and give
each a special push in the remaining three months of the year. Much can be done
in 30 days. You can make a new habit of almost anything... daily walk, gratitude
focus, eating more fiber, morning meditation. You can tick off several chunks
of a multi-part goal that you've been meaning to do... like contributing to the
Katrina Relief Fund (get a brochure, write a check, collect from neighbors,
volunteer to help at the next fair). You can also "re-start" a lapsed goal and
complete it in thirty days. For instance, drink water and put your would-be
coffee morning away each day for a month ($30-$60, depending on your java taste)
and you'll get a jumpstart on your toys-for-tots donation. Or, maybe you "meant"
to network at least one lunch a week this year and have fallen behind over the
summer. Double up and thirty days might be all you need to get back on
track. The best way to have no regrets at midnight on December 31st is to act
now... one step at a time. It's never to late to move in the direction of your
dreams; and it's never to early to imagine how you'll feel when you succeed.
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August 30, 2007
I hope your summer has been filled with relaxing,
rejuvenating, and rewarding ventures. The days have just flown by in my little
corner of the world. My newspaper column and online articles have kept my
writing spirit happy, while motivational speaking opportunities prompted travel
to some new frontiers including Lake of the Ozarks, MO. In more of a
practice-what-you-preach vein, I also spent lots of time with family and
friends. A visit to my sister’s in New York City took me to the play, Color
Purple, and a visit with friends in the quaint town of Nyack, NY. A vacation
with my husband (and miniature poodle, Rocky) turned out to be a lovely respite
on a small cove on Harbor Island in Southern Rhode Island. While I love summer
on the East Coast –and the gardening, picnics, outdoor concerts, etc., I must
say that as Labor Day approaches I always get excited. For me, September is like
a mini-New Year – a chance to jumpstart or recommit to projects, and create a
plan for what’s left of 2007. I feel energized. Maybe that sense of a “fresh
start” every Fall is engrained in me, since I was born in September and
therefore truly do begin a personal new year.
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August 17, 2007
Gratitude
I was on the radio
Monday being interviewed about the connection between our thoughts and our
happiness. One point we discussed seemed to strike a number of listeners was
this: it is impossible to be sad, angry, or afraid at the same time you are
feeling grateful. Gratitude - which research has shown to be one of the
strongest happiness factors-activates our "serene brain" while de-activating our
"cave man or fear brain." Just as we can't be in two places at once, we can't be
processing poor-me thoughts at the same time we are processing life-is-good
thoughts. So...if you find yourself feeling stressed out from what's wrong with
your life, you can feel better fast by listing all the things that are right,
beautiful, and meaningful in your life. From as small a thing as you got all
green lights on your way to work to as significant as you avoided an accident.
Focus on things you might normally take for granted (the birds chirping and the
rain for your flowers) as well as things you never expected (a kind word from
your boss or finding a ten-dollar bill). Your health, your job, your friends,
your humble abode. Your ear for music, eye for art, or talent for music. The
opportunity to help someone. Life presents us with much to be grateful for. To
be happy, spend more time giving thanks.
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Monday, July
30, 2007
Quick Lifts for Busy People
Ever feel stressed out, down in the mouth, or a bit low on motivation? If so,
you might be wistfully waiting for a vacation. But what can you do if you just
got back from vacation, or your weekends are full, or your evenings are all
spoken for?
Don’t worry. As a life-balance coach, I can tell you that vacations are
definitely overrated…at least as far as managing stress is concerned. They are
too few and too infrequent to be an effective antidote to the chronic daily
stress that (according to a landmark study at the University of London) puts us
more at risk for cardiovascular disease than either smoking or a high-fat diet.
Think about it as the rubber band theory. Snap it once and it snaps back.
Stretch it continually and it loses its resiliency. For ongoing mental,
physical, and emotional energy, it’s important to refuel before your tank is
empty. To help my coaching clients recharge on a daily basis, I knew I’d have to
come up with quick-lifts that could be done anyplace, anytime. So although I
think bubble baths, naps, and walks on the beach are great, you won’t find any
such suggestions in my book -Recharge in Minutes. Instead, you’ll find 101 ways
to refuel in place…in less time than it takes for a coffee break. So the next
time your confidence takes a hit (how many criticisms can one person take in a
day?), your portfolio tumbles (shrinking your nest egg), or your urgent to-do
pile is so tall it’s leaning like the Tower of Pisa (and your energy is sinking
just as fast), don’t wait for vacation. Try one of these quick-lifts…and
recharge wherever you are.
Stop to Really Breathe. Sit quietly, inhale to the count of six as if filling a
balloon just above your waist and then slowly exhale, feeling your balloon
deflate and any tension subside. Repeat 3-6 times.
Keep a Commitment to Yourself. It’s easy to sell off little pieces of yourself
by keeping commitments to everyone but you! List 6 things you’ve been “meaning”
to do, and take one step toward one of your intentions in the next ten minutes.
Suspend all of your “shoulds” for a few minutes and see how good it feels to do
one thing that’s important to you.
Throw One Back. Consider one “little fish” that you caught without trying…from a
friend, a boss, or family member. Now, shore up your courage, admit that you
over-committed, and throw it back.
Get Physical. If your mind is in overdrive, give it a rest and let your feet
take over for 5 minutes. Run up and down stairs. Go weed in the garden. Do
jumping jacks, or a dozen sit-ups…or sprint to the store for a latte.
Unplug from Civilization. Turn on your voice mail and shut your door. Close your
eyes and retreat to a favorite place. Hear the rain as you’ve heard it before,
and smell the musty earth. Feel the sun caress your skin…and let it melt the
tension. Stay for ten minutes; then as you leave, carry with you the serenity
you experience in nature.
Get Out of the Blame Game. When life is spinning out of control, dishing out the
unexpected, it’s easy to get caught up in finger pointing. The problem is that
until you focus on what you can do, you’ll experience the stress of low control.
Forget who’s responsible and figure out what you need to do next.
Keep the Faith. What we think influences how we feel, and how we feel influences
how we act. When you suffer a blow, bounce back with the encouraging words you’d
offer a friend. Recite a favorite prayer, read an inspiring quote, or just
repeat silently, “I can handle this” or “The universe conspires on my behalf.”
Dream Your Life Forward. Bad situations are less stressful if we believe that
they’re temporary. Pretend it’s two years from now and you are writing to a
close friend. Describe where you’re living, what you’re doing, who brings you
joy, and how you are making a difference. Dare to dream…and write it down.
Turn Complaints into Questions. When you complain, you drain your brain. It’s an
admission that you’ve hit a dead-end. Instead, turn every gripe into a question
that gets your brain fired up in search of a solution. Change “My luck stinks”
to “How can I turn this to my advantage?” or “What can I learn from this?” or “
Who could help me with this challenge?” Help coworkers and friends turn their
gripes into questions too. Soon you’ll be doing your part to stop global
whining!
Go on a Life-Is-Great Date. When you’ve had a streak of bad luck, lift yourself
up. Who needs a special treat when you’re high on success? It’s when you’re
stressed that you need abundance. Make plans to meet a friend, eat at a favorite
restaurant, …or just take a noontime walk with Mother Nature!
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